Tuesday, December 07, 2004

yeah, i said i wasn't going to do this

i want to exclude hate, and paranoia from this. but sometimes its impossible. so i only going to do it writing in this ridicule language, which does not represent me, but my involuntary thoughts.
death to the people who are afraid to honesty! they don't deserve to shut us down. we may be corrupted, perverted, or ill. but still we are investigating aspects of life. those people who are afraid and stay in their cave, should not speak up against us. we are running out, experimenting, and dying earlier, to show the others the consecuences of life. to help the cowards amplify their sight.
those who cannot look into my eyes and see other than my acts, are the people who can and will only get to see my skin, but never my heart. i wish you a happy life, and you'll never do the same. i do not hate you, as i erase you immediately from my mind.

i made a pact with aleister crowley, but i wasn't as bold to complete it. he show me who i was. i saw my god. it was a two-headed bird, like an eagle, with electrical colours running trough his body. he told me that he could erase all my weaknesses and made me strong and perfect. he told me that i could had an ego and be superior than other people. that if i keep the pact i was going to be capable of doing and getting whatever i want.
but i couldn't do it. i was convinced. at the time i thought i was going crazy. but everything seem so real. i had just died, and reencarnate the week before, and i felt that everything was possible. but then he said that to seal the pact i should gave my guitar to Noe as a present, and i thought it was very simple. but then the very next day i realize i wasn't capable of doing it. first, because i didn't want to lose my guitar. and second, because i didn't know what would happened to my if i did it. i mean, one thing is to see things in your crazy head, but sealing a pact with a powerful sorcerer is a dangerous situation. i couldn't gave my life and put it in the hands of Crowley just like that. I dont know what he could do to me. even if all was in my mind, i was afraid of him, and afraid of my eternal destiny. so i decided that i wouldn't do it.
now, from time to time i think about it, and i realize how delirious i was in that time. but you have to believe me, i had just experience death and reencarnation. my mind was far away from sanity. and just so you know (whoever you might be), by death i mean the experience of DMT, a drug that makes your brain release a sustance that is only release two times on your life: when you are born, and when you die.
So i can say that i have trick life, and my own brain, by making that sustance be release before time. After that experience i am less afraid of dying, since i know that it is going to be a pleasent situation after all the pain anxiety and panic.
So now my kids i have to go to sleep. i should tell you another story tomorrow, cause today the sun is about to come up, and i must hurry in to my bed.
moskirou boory

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