doggies

got into a fight list night, it was a nasty fight, but i did manage to land some good punches. i receive some too. nobody won, we both lose, nobody wons never. its this get together with so much people for so many days that drives me crazy. i dont know how to get along, im such a nasty person. i always end up being rude or impolite. i should be in a confinement, i should be forbidden to interact with other people anymore. i want to go to a mountain and disappear completely. i feel like a criminal. and im suppose to be on vacations. the only vacation i have is when im finally alone.
sleeping in the floor like a dog, made me dream with dogs. i was one of them, or maybe just watching them. some where jumping like cats, others where squezzing trough norrow holes. my head was exploding, hurt so much. woke up with bruises. my head was hurt, i felt cold, had an incredible headache, and i just wanted to be no more.
you know nowadays parents hide from their grown up sons to smoke some pot. wish they didnt do that, and just offer some. but with the devils and ghost in my mind that would probably would be worst. theres no possible way to repair damage. situation went out of control. there is no possible way of going back, or ask forgivenes, guilty i am, and many are the witnesses. hope they just make it quick, send me to the chair quick or cut my throat in my sleep and die like a sheep. but every eye i see looks like the worst judge, waiting for the right moment to say their sentence. and it will acumulate into a life of punishment.
i guess thats how ghost are born. and this is, ultimately, just another ghost inside my mental closet.


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happy christmas boys, i see you havent eat. youre all about the drinking, but you also need to eat. you know, your brains are getting thin, your lungs contaminated and is almost time to sleep. why dont you say your prayers, cause your damned already! haha there is nothing you can do. i will give ya a little something to make you feel better, if you just behave nicely. dont act like fools around me. im as high as a mauntain and as dry as your souls. but i am in control of everybodys thoughts!